What Do You Think We're Supposed to Experience on Earth?

Life unfolds in strange and mysterious ways, like a text on a boring evening that rattles you

"did you know (Blank) died?"

On that same topic of pain and grief, I recalled a question before on the subject of religion and higher beings. At the time they asked I had no idea. My greatest strength is thinking of things in retrospect, not really on the spot. However, after going through one of the toughest days of my life, I found my answer. We're supposed to experience suffering. Never-ending suffering, because as stated in the preface of "Man's Search for Meaning" by Victor Frankl

to live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering. -Gordon Allport

This is not to say that the suffering we feel would be remotely close to those who were in the Holocaust. However, as humans we have all suffered before, it's par for the course. Before we carry on, I'd like to introduce Buddhism's categorization of suffering as a useful framework for understanding its different manifestations.

Dukkha-dukkha, or the suffering of suffering, is perhaps the most obvious form of suffering we experience, as it encompasses physical pain, illness, and injury, as well as emotional anguish such as grief, fear, and sadness.

Viparinama-dukkha, the suffering of change, is an interesting concept because it highlights our tendency to resist and struggle against the inevitability of change. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a significant life transition, change can be difficult and unsettling, and it can create a sense of instability and uncertainty that can be challenging to navigate.

Sankhara-dukkha, the suffering of existence, speaks to the inherent unsatisfactoriness of life itself. This is perhaps the most difficult form of suffering to grapple with because there is no cause it is just part of the human condition. We all experience a sense of longing, a feeling that there must be more to life than what we see and experience in our daily existence. This form of suffering is perhaps what drives us to seek out meaning and purpose in our lives, and it is the impetus behind many spiritual and religious practices.

Why Should We Suffer?

Simply, only through suffering can we experience any positive outcome in life. My father told me a story before I went off to the military that helped him endure great suffering in life, he told me "Life is a series of fluctuations like a wave, it must be equal at the end of it. So when we have sad moments, there must be an equal happy moment, and vice versa. So when the sad times come, endure it knowing that an equal good is coming." This adage has stayed with me during the toughest times and has helped me immensely, more than my father could have ever known. However, I haven't always been happy with that answer, to tell someone who is suffering to endure it because it will get better seems unrealistically optimistic. So I kept searching relentlessly and in my search for an answer, I stumbled upon this interview of Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert opening up about the loss of their fathers among other family members, a snippet I want to focus on is when Anderson Cooper asked Stephen Colbert

AC: You told an interviewer that you have learned to, in your words 'to love the thing that you most wish had not happened'. You went on to say 'What punishments of God are not gifts?' Do you really believe that?"

SC: Yes, it's a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There's no escaping that.

...

SC: If you are grateful for your life...then you have to be grateful for all of it, you can't pick and choose what you're grateful for...What do you get from loss? You get awareness of other people's loss, which allows you to connect with that other person, which allows you to love more deeply and to understand what it's like to be a human being.

After watching this interview it left me with a lot more questions than answers, but I felt I was headed in the right direction and I wanted to expand on that topic, the aftermath, of what only suffering can grow.

The Aftermath

Is there more to life than suffering, or are we just destined to endure it? While it may appear bleak, the truth is that our struggles serve a purpose in helping us develop into the individuals we are meant to be. Despite my young age of 22 (wrote this two years ago, I just never posted it), I've experienced a decade's worth of challenges in these last four years alone, including coping with and helping people through death, suicide, depression, divorce, rejection, loss of time, and general hardships. As I searched for a sense of purpose amid the chaos, I almost lost myself in the process. I won't deny that suffering is a difficult and painful experience, especially when those we care about are affected and we're powerless to help. However, I want you to look at the aftermath, and what happens after we suffer. In the wake of death, we reprioritize our lives, and the bereaved and those who knew the deceased come together and grieve bringing those people together. In an ideal world, someone's death wouldn't be one of the only ways to bring people together, but life's far from ideal.

Suffering can also lead to increased empathy and compassion. When humans experience suffering, they can connect with others who have experienced similar pain and develop a greater sense of understanding and empathy. This can lead to a desire to help others who are suffering and can foster a sense of community and support. For example, many people who have experienced a difficult life event such may become involved in support groups or volunteer in organizations to help others who are going through similar experiences. By reaching out and helping others, individuals can find meaning in their suffering and develop a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Finally, suffering can lead to personal growth by prompting individuals to re-evaluate their priorities and values. When faced with difficult situations, humans may question the meaning and purpose of their lives and re-examine their goals and values. This can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and can provide clarity and direction in one's life. For example, a person who has experienced a serious illness may re-evaluate their priorities and decide to pursue a career that is more meaningful to them, they may prioritize spending time with loved ones over other activities that they once viewed as important

While it may seem counterintuitive to suggest that suffering is a necessary part of life, it is through our struggles that we can find meaning and purpose. It is through our ability to endure and overcome adversity that we can develop greater empathy and compassion for others. Ultimately, we can find meaning in the suffering that allows us to lead fulfilling lives and make a positive impact on the world around us. Roll credits.