Why Do We Postpone Ourselves?

For my brother Solo, trust in yourself and know that you've grown so much since the beginning. I understand it’s easy to slip into old habits, especially when you feel like the person you were back in PG County. But let me tell you—you're not that person anymore. Even if it doesn't always feel that way, I see the progress you’ve made. Keep believing in your strength and who you’re becoming. You're on a different path now, and every step forward, no matter how small, is proof of how far you've come. Keep pushing, keep evolving. The best version of you is already within reach. Much love and more blessings,

I came across a video title in my YouTube suggestions, "Why Do You Postpone Yourself?" by Accepting the Universe (highly recommend this channel). I didn’t watch it right away, though, because I postponed it even further. Then the question started gnawing at me like a persistent rodent, and eventually, it became too unbearable not to watch. The video began with the narrator revealing that the words weren’t actually their own, but were from Seneca, the ancient Roman statesman, written over 2,000 years ago.

Now, a lot has changed in 2,000 years. Why would Seneca, a statesman, be talking about distractions? Aren’t distractions just a recent human dilemma? No distractions have always been a fundamental part of the human condition, standing in the way of what we're doing and what we should be doing. In this article, I’ll explore the factors that prevent us from becoming who we want to be.

The Paradox of Retirement

Is the ill conceived notion that we must endure and do something that we hate, to then later do something we enjoy.

Retirement has long been romanticized as the point in life where we finally get to enjoy the things we love. But what if that’s a misguided notion? The idea that we must endure years of work we don’t enjoy in order to later enjoy life on our terms is a paradox that doesn't hold up under scrutiny. For me, this realization hit home while I was in the military. I saw colleagues who openly despised the military, constantly expressing how much they hated it—yet they would sign up for another 4-6 years of the very thing they loathed. And even then, they continued to complain. Others didn’t complain as loudly, but harbored passions outside of their military careers—art, cinematography, music—and often they were quite talented. When I asked why they didn’t pursue those passions, the answer was always the same: “I will, when I retire.” This response always baffled me. Why wait? Why put off doing what you love?

Then, one day, someone asked me a similar question: “If you love writing, why not do that?” I was about to give my usual excuse, but then I caught myself. I paused, seeing my own behavior from a third-person perspective, like looking in a mirror. It struck me—I’m doing the same thing. I had been postponing my passions, telling myself I’d dive into writing when I was in a more comfortable spot in life. But the truth was, I was enduring life just to live it later.

This thought reminds me of a conversation I had with my math tutor, Mr. Park, during senior year. We talked about his own passions, and I asked, as I often do, "Why haven't you pursued them?" He replied, "Because it doesn’t pay anything. Do something that pays first, and you can do whatever else you want later." That answer makes sense on the surface—it’s practical, it’s pragmatic. But it doesn’t take into account the toll work can take on us. When we exhaust ourselves in jobs we don't love, the energy to pursue our true passions often vanishes.

As brilliant as Mr. Park was at solving derivatives in seconds, I think he was wrong. The idea that we must delay what fulfills us in favor of obligations is a trap. What if, instead of postponing our passions for some distant future, we worked toward them in small ways right now? When we start incorporating what we love into our daily lives, even in minor doses, we can create a life where passion and responsibility coexist. Rather than seeing work or obligations as barriers to joy, we can shift our mindset to see them as part of a larger journey—one that includes personal growth, purpose, and discovery. If we keep postponing our dreams, we risk looking back years later with regret, having spent too much time waiting for the "perfect time" that never comes.

This shift in mindset leads to a new approach: retirement doesn’t need to be an escape—it should be a natural evolution of a life well-lived. Instead of waiting for the golden years, we can take steps now—write, create, explore. Life doesn’t have to wait. Fulfillment can begin today, no matter what stage of life we’re in or what constraints we face. Roll Credits.